A Lesson In Play

How attending two different kids’ birthday parties on the same day with my 2 kids gave me a real good insight into psychological safety.

At the first party (a family party where my kids didn’t know many other kids), there was a ball pit and a bouncy castle (Something both my kids and I assume most kids love), but it still took time for them to jump in. They hung back, scanned the room, warmed up slowly. Eventually, both jumped in and had a blast. My 5-year-old daughter felt safe once her older brother took the lead. Just a bouncy castle and ball pit, so not too overwhelming and familiar for both of them.

At the second party (a large gymnastics studio), celebrating my daughter's good friend's 5th birthday, where both my kids knew a few of the kids quite well, my son (7) launched himself instantly. My daughter (5) froze. The space was huge, noisy, and full of unfamiliar faces of people not part of the birthday celebration. She felt overwhelmed.

Then the group moved into a smaller area for food and cake. And she came alive, laughing, playing, fully engaged. Teams I work with aren’t that different.

Some people thrive anywhere.

Some need light support.

Some need the right environment and stronger support to feel psychologically safe enough to actually participate.

If we want better teams, we can’t just “add fun.”

We have to design conditions where more people feel safe enough to engage, especially those who don’t jump in first. What are we missing out on when we don't allow everyone to feel psychologically safe during team meetings, team get-togethers, or just every workday in general? If anything, we aren't allowing people to "Play" and enjoy themselves to the full extent. And what can be better than people who enjoy going to work, enjoy the people they work with, and get to go home happier and healthier!

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